i have been in a spiral of sadness/sorrow path! i havent had the energy or the mind set for this in the past few days. i have shared a bit with a few of the bloggers i read regularly. i send them a reply to their emails they have send me. as i dont say much at times but i did to some.
truthfully, i feel really sad. just have this feeling inside as the days come close to the sadness of 2 yrs ago SEPTEMBER 11, 2001. this will always remain in my mind. i can remember that day as if it was yesterday, which is creepy and achy. i was going to work and for some unusual reason i decided to turn the tv on instead of going to my comp. i thought i leave it on as i got ready. it was such a sunny day and i thought of ditching work, as i never used my sick-days. i remember putting the straightener to my hair as i turn and saw the announcer say and "now we go to the latest...". the devistation on the announcer face. they went white faced... i drop what i was holding and sat at the corner of the bed. my first instinct was calling my mom. as i put the tv volume louder. i started to feel this surge of acid building in my stomach and my wind pipe shrinking letting me only take small breaths (not realizing that i started to cry). i couldnt remember my moms number. and i couldnt move just the images of that were on captivated my attention 100%. i think even though i was far away. i sat there watching and looking and trying to analyze what just occurred, not beleiving that such an atrocity could happen. i spend the whole day there. i was just numb i didnt eat or drink anything for the whole day. i finally remember my moms number and called but no answer, when i heard of the plane that hit the pentagon. i thought of all the people that were hurt or were dead. how their love ones would be feeling, the pain that they were going to feel and the changes in their lives that would impact them for ever. all this was running through my head...
i think that we live in a time were life is fleeting... we need guidance and love. for we only got one life to live. with all this happening i dont know what to do or think at times. i get lost in the sorrow of it all. i dont know if im making sense. but i feel sadness purely that. Ginger has captured some of my sorrow. shouldn't 9-1-1 be an emergency number instead everytime i see it, it reminds me of the saddest day!
now that i write this i feel that the past 4 days have been really sad and realizing im totally lost at the present moment in my feelings. and i keep asking myself why??
truthfully, i feel really sad. just have this feeling inside as the days come close to the sadness of 2 yrs ago SEPTEMBER 11, 2001. this will always remain in my mind. i can remember that day as if it was yesterday, which is creepy and achy. i was going to work and for some unusual reason i decided to turn the tv on instead of going to my comp. i thought i leave it on as i got ready. it was such a sunny day and i thought of ditching work, as i never used my sick-days. i remember putting the straightener to my hair as i turn and saw the announcer say and "now we go to the latest...". the devistation on the announcer face. they went white faced... i drop what i was holding and sat at the corner of the bed. my first instinct was calling my mom. as i put the tv volume louder. i started to feel this surge of acid building in my stomach and my wind pipe shrinking letting me only take small breaths (not realizing that i started to cry). i couldnt remember my moms number. and i couldnt move just the images of that were on captivated my attention 100%. i think even though i was far away. i sat there watching and looking and trying to analyze what just occurred, not beleiving that such an atrocity could happen. i spend the whole day there. i was just numb i didnt eat or drink anything for the whole day. i finally remember my moms number and called but no answer, when i heard of the plane that hit the pentagon. i thought of all the people that were hurt or were dead. how their love ones would be feeling, the pain that they were going to feel and the changes in their lives that would impact them for ever. all this was running through my head...
i think that we live in a time were life is fleeting... we need guidance and love. for we only got one life to live. with all this happening i dont know what to do or think at times. i get lost in the sorrow of it all. i dont know if im making sense. but i feel sadness purely that. Ginger has captured some of my sorrow. shouldn't 9-1-1 be an emergency number instead everytime i see it, it reminds me of the saddest day!
now that i write this i feel that the past 4 days have been really sad and realizing im totally lost at the present moment in my feelings. and i keep asking myself why??
