just got it! here's me enjoying it! yummies! thx to my adorable n wonderful B-G!! i love you more then u know. u take care of me 100%! now, go n get me my drug [morphine].

cant wait to get it... b-g went to get me one... heee... as i saw that SAJ had given some to her nieces and posted pics on it... i got cravings!

SAJ bithday is on Wed. July 6th!!!

watching 60 minutes (WED):

- a composer [John Beltzer] who creates individual songs for sick children.
- Amish community the children they are having have serious genetic disorders that there are no names for yet... i guess cuz they have mixed so much with each other, to preserve their heritage their own children are paying the price... it's so sad!

then i got to thinking about the period of "rumspringa," a Pennsylvania Dutch term that means "running around," the teens often date, drink, drive cars and move away from home. Most then return to the faith. then found the movie "Devil's Play" (2002 - Dir. Lucy Walker) and a review on it at dtheater.com, which found to ba cool site... at tinypineapple i found out that in early 2004 a reality series had been made by UPN (a show on the amish period of 'rumspringa') called "Amish in the City." started to get a bit curious to what it was all about and found blah stuff [due to his post of June 20th 2005] a blog about all sorts of things... which started my curiousity on the blog and read [June 28th 2005 post] it for a long while... the news that scientist are reviving dogs... zombie dogs!

wanted to leave a post at a blog which i didn't save cuz my pc crashed!
"wanted to leave in a post: "the mows" *cute but i also love get fuzzy..."

love veronica mars and will be showing for a second season. can't wait! got a bit tv inspired and went to see if there was a movienetwork site. wanted to watch anime at sputnik7 but couldn't see it and had to downloaded free realplayer, cuz that's all that they had... but it still didn't work and went to check my broadband speed...

blogs found at blogshares:
- space coast web
- umi
- sagaro which i got through umi [post of June 22nd, 2005]
- the blog herald, was trying to play blog shares and see what they were giving out and found that Yahoo introduced a Yahoo 360 which incorporates everything [blog, email, and everythihg that yahoo has] yep, i joined.. went to check jen and she has a new purple layout which is cute... and joined typed key [how to use the type key on the site??? still wondering that one!] and throught that i got a profile and put some of my links i like which one is kao-ani which she joined GoPets [which i have made home for my browser] as natajsa [waiting to be approved as her friend] and well i joined... took me for ever the site is pretty slow! now i can make my own kitty [downloaded the program and X9]... and can go to other peeps desktop but i wonder how safe that is??? have to really trust someone i don't want no viruses... aahhh.... now i got to thinking...

at angry bunnies [aka jen jen] page i left the following comment and found it to merit to be one of my post to remember in the future [te acuerdas? mondo * wink * * wink *]

cool pic... been exposed to parent sex i was about 7-8yrs and i screamed like a banchee... thank god i have forgotten all the facts and pics of that specific episode in my life... or i would still be in therapy right now! heee... yeah, i remember the time (18yo) with my second boyf bro but i stayed for awhile to look... heee... and then went to tell my boyf he just laugh and said that is why he took the door of the hinges... crazy...
never experience #4 & 5... but i don't really care too.. i think i been jaded... seen KINK / sex tv a bit too much!! #8 is disgusting... morons, at least bring some perfume for the smell! freaks!!! but, hey, i've done it in a metro so i should just shut up right now!

i hate was coming out of my mouth... i want to ring the docs head at the moment... it's been 9 days and i cannot talk properly at all... what the fuck! i am starting to get upset... ok so it will take 3weeks to heal but it should not effect my lyrinx or any part of that? what the hell is going on in my mouth? the little i can talk no one can understand! i'm starting to get scared that i will be talking like a deaf person for ever... hopefully soon that will change... i hate it! help.. i saw the doc on monday! he said it will take 3wks for my mouth to heal but it may take a while for the brain and the functions of my mouth to match up!!!! crossing my fingers that all will end up good and i will be laughing in a few months about this!!! yes, im feeling sorry for my fuckin self and what? who else will do that for me... no one! so, i want to cry, scream, and rant!!! oh not to forget to slap silly the doc who did this to me... i did not know he had done this until i came out... could i sue him? as i thought i was going for a tonillectamy:


and came out with my soft pallette cut up and stitched up! i just went and taped my self and sound awful.. i am crying now! will my beautiful voice come back? now, im scared.. i will go see the doc the 8th of July, i hope by then my voice is back to the its girly self with a bit less pain and no more disgusting sfuff coming out of my mouth!! this is my mountain of tissue which is growing by the minute...

Favorite Beatles song: She's Leaving Home
Favorite Rolling Stones song: Satisfaction
Favorite Doors song: We Could Be So Good Together
Favorite Bob Dylan song: All Along The Watchtower
Favorite Pixies song: N/A
Favorite TV Theme song: Laverne and Shirley
Favorite Prince song: Raspberry Beret
Favorite Madonna song: Borderline & Take A Bow
Favorite Michael Jackson song: Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
Favorite Metallica song: One
Favorite Motorhead song: N/A
Favorite Ozzy song: See You On The Other Side
Favorite Public Enemy song: Move!
Favorite song from a Cartoon: Jem
Favorite Faith No More song: Easy
Favorite Depeche Mode song: Somebody
Favorite Cure song: The Walk
Favorite song that most of your friends haven’t heard: Did You Really Love Me by Coco Lee [there are so but so many that, anyways this is a good one...]
Favorite Smiths song: N/A
Favorite Beastie Boys song: Girls [funny idiotic song... reminds me of the early mornings going to Cadets freezing my ass for 15 min but listening to this freaken song...]
Favorite Korn song: N/A
Favorite Police song: Every Breath You Take
Favorite Sex Pistols song: N/A
Favorite Beach Boys song: I Get Around
Favorite Def Leppard song: Love Bites
Favorite song from a movie: Slave To Love by Bryan Ferry [when i first b-g... we loved that song... this is OUR SONG!]
Favorite Duran Duran song: Wild Boys
Favorite Blondie song: The Tide Is High [brings fond memories of my childhood!]
Favorite Garth Brooks song: Friends In Low Places
Favorite song from an 80’s one hit wonder: Waiting for a Star to Fall by Boy Meets Girl
Favorite song from a videogame: Kindom Hearts game 'Simple And Clean' by Utada Hikari
Favorite Kinks song: Tired Of Waiting For You
Favorite Genesis song: That's All
Favorite Led Zeppelin song: Stairway To Heaven
Favorite INXS song: Never Tear Us Apart
Favorite Weird Al song: N/A
Favorite Pulp song: A Little Soul
Favorite John Lennon song: Woman
Favorite Pink Floyd song: Hey You
Favorite cover song: No doubt 'Tragic Kingdom'
Favorite White Stripes song: N/A
Favorite dance song: One More Time by Real Mccoy
Favorite U2 song: All I want Is You
Favorite song from an actor turned musician:
Favorite disco song: Dancing Queen by ABBA
Favorite Motley Crue song: Without You
Favorite Guns N’ Roses song: Sweet Child Of Mine
Favorite The Who song: Won't Get Fooled Again
Favorite Elton John song: Don't Go Breaking My Heart
Favorite song, period: 90's

MEME found somewhere??

10 years ago, I...
1. Was unemployed
2. Going to CIBLE for my DEP in Secretarial Studies...
3. Living downtown with Sandy (blonde going out with a filipino) and Tanya (artist who had 2 rats

and was going to Paris in the summer to study there)
4. I started to get interested into Asian men
5. Had my first Asian boyfriend 'Pan Zheun' a HK guy who introduce me to all that is Asian!

5 years ago, I...
1. 2nd year of University
2. Ended relationship with Joe and took up with my second Asian boyfriend who was born in Canada
3. Working 3 jobs...
4. Confussed as hell about men.
5. My beautiful kitty BEBE dissapeared! :~(

Today I ...
1. Woke up still recovering from my surgery
2. Still in pain but realizing MORPHINE will be my bestest friend for awhile
3. Put the humidifier on...
4. Wrote all about my surgery
5. Learned that i still have a hard time with drinking my fluids

Tomorrow, I will...
1. Go see Dr. Sweet
2. B-g has his big lecture
3. Stay relaxed
4. Start up my Scrapbook once again
5. Concentrate on me.

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Banana chips
2. Melon shake
3. Oatmeal cookies
4. A bowl of Special K w/ a drizzle of honey
5. Flan or Custard

5 Songs I know all the words to, even with out the Music:
1. Untitled
2. Borderline
3. Bohemian Rhapsody
4. Tell It To My Heart
5. Cherish

5 Things I would do with $100,000,000:
1. Finish School
2. Invest it
3. Buy a house
4. Give money to my family
5. Go around the world with B-g

Top 5 Locations I'd run away to:
1. Hawaii any of the Islands
2. Tokyo, Japan
3. Bermuda
4. Amsterdam, Netherlands
5. New Zealand

5 Bad habits I have:
1. Biting my skin around my fingernails until it bleeds
2. Ordering way more food than I can eat
3. Not exercising
4. Talking too much
5. Watching way too much TV

5 Things I like Doing:
1. Getting to know new people
2. Sleeping
3. Watching TV
4. Shopping
5. Reading

5 Things I would Never Wear:
1. skirts & dresses
2. Shorts
3. licra everything
4. Stiletto Heels (wabble wabble)
5. T tops

TV Shows I like:
1. CSI
2. Charmed
3. Lisence to grill
4. Lost
5. O.C.

5 Movies I like:
1. Big Fish
2 50 First Dates
3. Wedding Singer
4. Back to the Future 1-3
5. Labyrinth

5 Famous people I'd like to Meet:
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Drew Berrymore
3. Keanu Reeves
4. Whoopi Goldberg
5. Margaret Cho

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1. Reading blogs
2. Sleeping not feeling the pain
3. My Kitty Carly
4. My love B-g [which at times i like to ring his neck, but still love]
5. MORPHINE!!!

so thursday 23rd was app. day with Dr. Sweet... waited 35min to see him. was a bit in pain but could manage it. asked him why did it hurt so much and he said because he had made more room in my mouth and pulled some muscles and had to reattached them differently... it will take a while for it to all go back to place once again. it has to do with the brain and the body how it all will come together. i can't eat and drinking is pretty painful. he gave me another refill of morphine as i was truly low on the first doses b-g had given me. i also take 2 tylenol every 4hrs to keep me a bit numb and don't relly on the morphine 100%... i wish i could atleast have some pudding or jello or ice cream... i can't even have semi-solids. Dr. Sweet said it may take a while before i can eat semi-solids...i been loosing weight as the only intakes are water, and at times some juices [melon, berry]... had luke-warm beef stock, it was too much for my mouth... as my taste buds are fucked too, the doc said that he had to push my tongue back and due to that i have slashes on my tongue and can't taste stuff properly...
i am so not hungry, i get scared to eat cuz even when the water passes through my throat it hurts to swallow and if i don't swallow it goes into my wind pipe. apparently i had huge tonsils and had very little space to breath inside my throat. so, the it wasn't an average tonsil surgery. which i am not happy but the doc said that now i will be perfect from the inside out... no more snoring... heee... i guess i got perfection inside my mouth... but the pain!!! i need to take another dose of MORPHINE!

the fridge look as of this week (freezer always looks pretty much packed!!):

this morning was really bad... was caughing alot which i should not do cuz it will make me bleed and i really don't want to go to the ER... i taken some morphine for the pain and it's gotten better but i feel so droppy! still to call for the app. on thurs with Dr., Sweet but no one answers the phone, instead it's and answering and we left a message yesteday and one right now... what is up with this... i have had 30ml of water... i have to take it slow...my throat is not handling it very well, i choke i don't know if that is normal... i will tell the doc once i see him... i've asked b-g that if he hears me cough during the night to please wake me as i can bleed and then hello ER... no freaken way! i can say that my experience at the Royal Vic was mixed! i love the peeps in the recovery room, they have such care for their patients and as for the floors above well, the peeps just plainly don't really care... you have to be an asshole to them to give you good care or atleast what you want! i am a lucky one as i had an advocate for me that is in the system and can somewhat move the situation to be at my favor! for that i am truly greatful at b-g!! is that our system really sucks or was it that i experience a 1 time thing... i just don't want someone else who doesn't have what i had as a back up to go through the same things as i did or even worse!!

surgery started at 9:00-9:15am... i was no nervous but did not show it so much.. b-g paid $15 for parking at the front entrance, no monthlies are allowed. went to A-125 to register... funny, they could not find my file anywhere but was upstairs already. b-g kept talking to me and getting me nervous as hell to the point that i snapped at him to stop the conversation... Went upstairs 5th floor, to get checked-in, vitals were taken. q&a followed, allergies, sick, operated before, etc... was asked to come back in 1/2 hr later, to get prep for surgery. the guy that was at the front desk was really nice... all the names are blurry to me now... an older lady helped my to get ready for the surgery, when i came 1/2 later... 2 to gowns, blue slippery things, and just kept my undies... all my closthes were put in a yellow bag and my sandals in a clear plastic bag...attached was a green tag with my stats, put it together with my over-night bag... i this point i was clueless if i was going to stay or not? i was in limbo... i was led to the outside of the OR by an orderly lady... i made small chat... told them that if they kill me that i was a organ donor so please keep me breathing so they could take from me what they can salvage... yes, im so optimistic, damn i was really nervous but now a days nothing is 100%!!! nothing! i waited for 45 min to and 1hr outside of the OR.. he was still operating on some one else... the same thing, i was told he was 33yo and was having his tonsils taken out too... i kept think that was the nurse's [she was the one at the pre-op clinic, she had told me that her boyf was getting the smae done but his were not that big, she was truly surprised!] boyfriend. Then a student came over name Stephanie, she was an exchanged student from Holland that was rotating with Dr. Sweet [his name describes him to the T, he also reminds me of Mr. Rogers].She stayed for awhile and kept chit-chatting myself more then she... i told her i was scared and said if i die bla bla, all that crap and more... then the nurse that helps Dr. Sweet came and i started chit-chat w/ her, too... she asked all the questions all over again... and i proceeded to tell her... common policy that many asked the same so i guess i won't change my answers... heee... Dr. Sweet came and talked to me, aksed me some questions and told me i was staying over night. met the anesthiologist Dr. Bandi [she made a joke saying the way to remember my name is that it sounds like BANDIT but with out the 'T,' i thought it was funny! because i still rmember her name, it worked!] waited another 5-10min until the OR was clean. i was wheeled in and i transfer myself to the OR table. where i met an assistant and another Dr.?? [do i remember no, i was like shitting bricks by this time!], Dr. Bandi was there to my right and near my head was Dr. Sweets nurse. Some guy was preparing the tools for Dr. Sweet. I got my IV put but they numbed my skin first before the rpick. they could not find vains in the back of my hand, the Dr had to help the assistant find a vien. i was so nervous, but once they put in the medz... they started to burn up my arm... they said it was normal... then i started to shake more like a freaken leaf... they thought i was cold but nope it was my nerves, they gave me something to relax... the last thing i heard was: 'this is to make you relax.' apparently i fell asleep crying, i guess from the nerves...
i don't remember anything... i was transferred to the recovery area... a really pretty nurse [that recognized b-g] was really sweet, she was so attentive to my pain, that when i said i hurt, she took out a needle and put meds into my IV it felt great!!! i felt i got top A+ treatment, very happy there... another nurse took over she was really, really nice too... dang, do IVs make you pee like crazy!! i got some stuff up my butt and in my IV... i was told that i came out of the surgery in a really bad shape: crying, pulling my neck, saying it was really painful, and to help me... etc... i was not taking the pain easily. i was out of it, really bad... as it wasn't just the tonils they took out but they cut my first pillars of my pallet and put in some stitches! MAJOR pain!!!
Dr. Sweet, Dr. Bandi and Natalie came to see me. then ear, nose, throat resident Dr. Mohamed Al Eisa was called because i could not swallow my own saliva. then it was recommended that the ICU resident come, which she did. i put my best foot forward and pretended it was not so bad [came to regret it later!] and that i didn't want to go to ICU... plus, no tv there to like entertain me, no freaken way!! so instead they gave me nebulized epinephrine adreneline, [constrict the blood vessels in my throat] which made me feel way better... but i was slow to recover usually it takes 2hrs but for me it took 6hrs (10am to 4pm), i knew it cuz i am slow at freaken healing... so it was decided that i go upstairs to 9SW. i met this really nice blonde nurse that wanted them to keep me for another 2hrs but i encourage them that i was feeling ok and that i could go now... i just wanted to watch tv but none was to be had until 8:45pm, which sucked!!! Dr. Bandi was really pre-occupied that is why they send for all the docs to come and see me... i apperntly i was looking green along the gills so better safe then sorry... next to me was this gentleman name Mr. Blake, he had a really huge belly. they were taking x-rays of it to see what he had. the assistant to the radiologist covered with the protective gear they have... [we bump into the readiologist when i was leaving the hospital and said to her i remember her and reminded her where i had seen her and she me... aaahhh it was fun! don't know her name but her face i won't forget or what she was wearing, heee... her greens were totally wrinkled and was wearing khaki shorts!].
b-g was allowed to stay with me in the recovery room, but because he was a staff he could, i was happy for that. b-g went up with me to the floor to get settled in but i started to realize my mistake once i got on the floor, the nurse rebbeca, the gernie lady, and a the orderly lady were all really not that nice...
after b-g left i went to see the toilet... dang, IVs... got 2 up my butt, one which burned and the other was tylenol...
was really in pain so i called the nurse [i wish i remembered her name cuz she freaken said NO to pain medz and even though Dr. Sweet had written that i could get IV medz they did not want me to have any! i found that later when b-g came! she even had the odasity to mark she gave me codine, which she didn't at around 6:10pm or something like that]. i cried for 2hrs as b-g was late he came around 8:45pm instead of 6:45pm, so did the tv guy $8 and 2$ tip... b-g came late, he was researching for his rounds talk on Thurs. in the auditorium of the Children's... he's going to be talking with a crowd 30 physicians and 2 or 3 of his directors of the general and the Childrens!!! so his really nervous!!!
was really in pain when he came and i told him all about it... he discussed it with the nurse [this was another nurse an elderly chinese lady shich kept pushing me to drink and have codine by mouth which i could not!! it hurt too much!] b-g said he wanted to speak to the resident incharged it was Dr. M. Al Eisa, which the ball started to roll... and got a shot of morphine [it kinda burn going in and took 20min to work] prescribed every 3hrs if i wanted it! when it was in my system and i was dopped up i could manage to drink a bit and have some ice chips... i felt better... b-g left at 10:45pm and i went on to watch some tv... but the nurses were sopushie to get me to drink while i was in so much pain... fucken' women!!! this is my thing, everyone has different levels of pain management mine is pretty low... i cannot hold my pain no freaken way!! when i hurt i want something for my pain!!! just wait, during registration they asked me if i could signed a paper to allow the hospital to call me back about my feedback on how i was treated, oh just wait... plus i will be sending a written letter to the nurse co-ordinator [Patricia Meridith] explaining what happened at the time of my stay. that i didn't even have the proper papers to tell me what to do, who to call if any problems, that they didn't even make me an appointment to be followed up they told me to call...
tryied to fall asleep around midnight, i did wake up many times during the night i was a bit uncomfortable... my vitals were taken, my meds for inflamation were given through the IV and i ask for some liquid codine to take [by this time it was a different nurse a black chubby lady].
i woke at 4:45 am and started to watch tv... got a new IV put in the person who did it was such a biatch, bumbling to herself and dropping the IV sack and just being pure miserable... she even left huge bubbles in my IV... i was scared that i asked to be taken of as soon as the doc said yes... freaken people no wonder Canada has the 2nd highest mortality rate is in the field of medecine, the first is Cancer...
the ENT resident Dr. Mohamed AL Aise came at 7:30am asking if i wanted to go home, how i was feeling and asked me to talk more and exercise my muscles... bla bla... yeah be in my condition and then tell me to talk ass... i told him that the nurses were not giving me nothing but tylenol for pain... he just nodded and that alteast i was going home and i said yeah, ALIVE! sheesh... but he was a bit nice cuz b-g gave him a talk yesterday... heee... i love it when b-g gets all manly and powery, it just makes me feel so special, all warm and fuzzy inside!! he would prescribe the medz for pain & inflamation!
Dr. Sweet came around 7:45am and asked almost the same questions but also asked what program i was watching: 'shaolin ???' cartoon on fox... i said to him 'still a child at heart!' he just laughed... he said i will see him in 2 days at his office... also, asked him the names of nurses in the recuperation room. he didn't know. so, i said i would pass by [which i did not but will be sending them something! they were so nice to me, i know its their job but they were really tentive to my every needs and pains!]. and i also told him that he's also in my thoughts, i didn't forget about him... 10 min later Natalie [Holland transfer student] came and i talk to her for awhile and told her what was upsetting me.. she said i looked better, she nodded and listen... and said bye... by 9:30 am she had left and the new nurse min-tou and her ass. nurse Ashley came to take my vitals and asked them to take my IV out and to tell me when the doc prescribe my medz to tell me cuz i want to be discharged! ASAP!!
at 10am i got my IV taken out so much blood came out of it, ashley helped me, as i took it out, it was a tiny plastic tube not a needle as i thought. as they saw that i had a bit of jello and water with ice chips... asked for more codine got 15cc but it did not easy my pain at all... i asked for more and why they were being stingy with the medz... i could not get any until the nurse came back from break! i was stuck with the Ashley girl!! i told her it's not her is just i cannot take pain!! she said she could not do anything and that i had to wait for the nurse to comeback... so i did and asked her...they had given me a concentrated dose but i told her that it wasn't working and that i couldn't take any fluids due to the pain! but she couldn't give me more so i left it like that...
i called b-gand asked him to come and get me... called Steph, she was happy to hear from me.. called Mondo and said i was ok in his answer machine and to call me... which he did later but i was so dopped up and had been talking to Steph for awhile i was sure i would be in pain once the morphine was gone out of my system. said to put it on an email of blog it for him to know how it all went...
when i came into the room it was a 4 bed room, there was only 1 person on bed #4 a lady who had
belly-surgery, gastro bypass surgery, she was pretty heavy... b-g recognized the physician that came to see her... that is how we found out!
then bed #3 was filled up in the evening a very pretty Hetian lady, thought at first to be too snobby but not really she was probably very serious due to her surgery, not known?
and in themorning bed #2 was filled by and older lady who was going to hve galblatter stone surgery. but she first went to get her colon looked upon, that is what she said and came back really drowsy [more like out of it!]. her surgery will be later on the day... some one came to visit and keep her company! she felt a bit nauseas...
got discharged around 11 am and i was of to my home... aaahhh, home... went to get meds and b-g percribed me MORPHINE [it's my hero, as you can see i'm dopped up!!! aaahhh, no pain!], it's my new love!! i feel nothing with it! love it!

on my notepad:

as i watch tv here on my bed... i glanced at musiqueplus,

minnie & roxie wear. that's what caught my eye...

gas prices are high as hell, due to the demand!!! Canada prairie rivers are overflooding! file sharing in Canada will be illegal... ex. Cold Play's new CDs are not allowed to be copied at all, but how can they stop it, i find ittoo be a little too late for this law...

took my shower with the special soap... b-g made his coffee... dress and ready... party on.... aaaaahhhh help... can someone go for me please... i don't want to... aaahhh, i'm late need to be there for 7am and the surgery is for 8:30am...

laterzzz....

so ok i have been in pins in needles all day... what i did to take my mind of is clean the house... first i started with the bathroom. i smelled that the cat litter box needed changing so i did it then realize that the floor got all dirty over the freaken cat litter... i then put on my trendy cleaning clothes... you really dont want to know as i clean bearly naked... heee....as to not get any bleach on me or my precious clothes... heee... so that was my afternoon.. taking me 1 1/2 hr... the floors had to be done twice they were filthy! yukkkies... played 2 games of spider solitaire... oooh... about games yesterday was a very interesting night...went to bed at 4am... met this guy 22yo... has a child and well the girlf is a total dominating-b ... so i told him what he should do.. talk to her and explain how he feels and all that... so we played and chatted until 4 am... which was great... but before all that... i had a wonder full evening with another player a lady for Cali, she was ordering Mexican... yummm.... b-g was at the library researching for his talk on Wed. he's nervous like crazy but the way he handles nerves is not good cuz he tends to sleep alot!!! so getting back i went to see C but was not so talkative to her... i ended ignoring her and playing with the 22yo, instead... she went to bed and that's how my Sat night went... b-g worked overnight... so now he's exhustated... he cannot believe i cleaned so much... cuz i started on the spear room where we keep all our crap we cannot use or have too much of... my mom & sis called they went to REDLOBSTER, b-g's fav. yummm.... ooouuuuuucccchhhhhiiieeesss, my legs, back and let's just say my total body hurts!! i am in so much pain... i rather be like this then feel the stress of the up coming surgery... which i need to be there at 7 am.. already took my icky cleanning shower, my first with that special soap... and another i need to take tomorrow morning... aaaahhh.... ok... time for bed!!! surgery it will all be good...

joined blogshares... it's so addictive... a very nice guy/man help me get lots of money... he was so good... his name face 2 interface! he gave me 10 shares as a gift and through that i made quite a bit.... he has 3 sites that are all in German... but pretty cool... also found some of the peeps i read:
OLDCATMAN: i bought 100 shares... i left the link at in his comments box! hope he's doing good and he got his new cane!
jen jen: i did buy some! heee... icklebug...

maps.google [still in the beta stages] was thanks to OHB, he has it on his site... i found excatly where i live scary... aaaahhh.... heeee.... then emailed me terraserver.microsoft... want but where to put it: blogpoll.

p-pine & Carly playing!!!

hate the fact that i have to go and get surgery, not fair but i guess life is not fair and then you die!!!!!! everyone says it's gonna hurt... hte pain doesn't get me as much as the fact that i will be under... that's all... b-g says not to worry that it's such a common surgery like a cold... so, i should just give it up... he has not been a very understanding person! aaaahhh... he's worried about his own things: doing rounds, his billing, cleaning his so called office... which i cannot help on any of that cuz he doesn't let me... he loves to bitch about it though!
Oprah was terrible yesterday... i let out all my cries out... i cannot believe that the world is so disgusting... to imagine that in S. Africa men think that by raping babies they can be cure of AIDS. that is freaken crazy!! and in Italy father's are prostituting their own sons for money... man, i think that life is fuckin insane... there is so much out there that many don't want to know and don't care to know... many of the clothes and articles we have in our own homes are made by children, who work instead of going to school and living thier lives... a child born in N. America is the most luckiest! they have advantage that others don't or will never have...
why are we so selfish and self-absorbed?? is that being human?

me this afternoon, not dress or anything, still in my morning look. lazy like always, freaken werb cam, makes my boobs look huge! notice i need to loose weight too... aaahh the life of a woman! been at my pc all day, looking for a website that i cannot for the life of me find. as i logged in yesterday to my pc all of a sudden all my bookmarks have been erased. what happened to them i have no idea, i been upset ever since. it's been like a few yrs i have had them and they were all nicely arranged freak... aaaarrrgggghhhh, ok, i need to go now... its getting late and its time for gundam see... may come back later... i hate the heat aaahhh... u see!

net-zombie-kitty!!

6.30 am wake-up... thinking that i need to take a shower... he didn't come to wake me... it was really good... left at 7.40am. was at the pre-op clinic excatly by 8.15am... waited 45min to see the nurse and it went like fast... bang! she was amazed at how big my tonsils were... she could only said 'HUGE!' funny her boyfriend is having the same surgery, his right tonsil is swollen... i told her that's how mine started and it's good that he got it earlier then me! heee... i flew through seeing the doctors but the waiting was horrible! we left 10.30am. came home made lunch for b-g and me... i hate the heat! it's going to be hot for the next few days... hopefully, renovations to the closet will start monday or tuesday...

funny thing, reading the news paper yesterday it seems that a woman's ability to reach an orgasm is partially related to her genes... i am glad that my parents had good genes for that on! heee...
trying out my webcam... i don't use it at all... i should... gonna think about that one... heee...

i had a some what ??? day.. i went to get my bloods done... sheesh.. freaken 4 bottles what's that all about. VAMPIRES, i tell u!! i almost fainted.. i heard b-g saying r u ok and then the chick saying wawawawa... the room started spinning and suddenly i'm semi-supine, i started to feel a bit better then she started to say something about not having smaller towels. i felt this cold comress on my head and under my neck. she asked if i was ok.. i felt a little shy as the door to the waiting room was open and i heard the old people waiting whispering... i don't know as most were oriental... i lay there for 5 min... the nurse was a bit scared, she told me not to do that and to talk but i couldn't i felt so weak.. i guess it was because i had't eaten anything since the day before... on top of it all i had to take a piss into a cup for freaken analysis the f%$#!!! i found the nurse to be so sweet telling me to take my time when i was ready to go to the toilet to go and then give it to her... freak i think she wanted to carry me to the waiting room i felt her arms all around my boobs and waist... i tried to get away but i just went a bit limp, b-g was just in the sides... i tell you he was not worried at all... i felt he didn't care... but brushed it off... i need to rethink certain things now a days. that's something else... i wish... so, i sat and then went to the b-room and me being such souch a dumb-ass i wet my undies... thx god it wasnt much! but still i had to get back and take a shower and change clothes... yuk!!! the things... getting back to the bloods, i come back and she takes the blood cannesters, pee and the sheet puts a rubber band around it and says take it to room #718 on the 7th floor... heee... i hated the elevator ride i was so freaken weak i felt the gravity pulling me up and down, it sucked... not once did b-g ask if i was ok... he just kept talking about other patients and then a collegue here and there popped up saying hi!! so no time for me... now, its late... i wanted to save money so i say just take me home, plus i was feeling terribly weak still... freaken heat... i felt so unloved... as i cooked my own food and ate by myself... oooh, he had eaten before we left... i had to wait for him to finish eating his meal... he said there was time not to get my panties in a bunch... bla bla...
shit i never took so much shit from a guy, i think i'm becoming a weak woman... no way!!! that ain't happening to me... i feel so sad... now im hoping not to wake up!!!

JAG's meme totally rocks!! yah!! that got my spirits up! she's a sweety... she has always come out of the woodwork when i feel shitty... thx...

it started out so good... the bed was great, b-g was next to me, which surprise me cuz my snoring doesn't let him sleep.. i should put an audio of it on my blog, b-g taped me about 1wk ago... i sound awful... like i'm choking!
getting back to food factors, i wake with an inspiration of burrito-matin, hashbrowns w/ sprinkles of cheese and smokies... but my dream was chattered when i got the call... i need to go in on Thursday at 8:15am for PRE-OP at the Royal-Vic. and that made me remember that i needed to go to the general to do my bloods... i freak, so food went out the window and now i'm freaken hungry!! those yummy nip-apples look good!
the view is on... Rosie's replacing Star for today. talking about she made what she's wearing into a vest. crazy, the protest about breast feeding... yikes... what the hell, breast feeding monkeys??? now, i need to go take a shower and get ready if i want to go for 1-1.30pm. as they close at 3.30pm. i need to do it before tomorrow! shit!! i am late!!
oooh i feel like a tim horton's ice cappuccino!! yum!!
once the shower is done... b-g will be back and i will make him a brunch meal and watch him eat! god! i feel so hungry...
ooohhh, i have to remind b-g to like stock up no jell-o my fav. STRAWBERRY!!! oohh, pudding too... i cannot eat the regular foods when i have my freaken throat cut! dang, i cannot believe i have to get my tonsils out! why can't there be meds instead of freaken, cutting me!! i'm thinking of joining the recipe box at kraft! what a fantastic invention jell-o has been... it's enjoyed by the young and the old... heee... mr. bloopy's thumb print is in this part of my post... to quote him:
"... i mean it smells so freakin' yummy that, after pouring in the two cups of cold water, you almost don't wanna wait for it ..."

"... you realize that drinking jello instead of waiting for it to congeal is what separates us from the animals?"

a few recipes that i may try from the jello-kraft site that i'm thinking of trying:
- peaches 'n cream pie
- lemon pudding cheesecake
- easy banana creme brulee


those are good for now... found shortcake site! i don't think i will be eating whole foods for a long while... knowing me i will freaken heal slower then a snail walks...

will wait for DVD:
Howl's Moving Castle
Saving Face
Memoirs of a Geisha


here is a bunch enjoy! OHB has named them... heee...

books i want:
* Practical Korean Cooking by Noh Chin-Hwa, Shirley Dorow
* Traditional Korean Cooking (Traditional Korean Cooking) by Noh Chin-Hwa
* The Best of Indonesian Desserts by Boga, Yasa

i hate the heat... why is it that i was not born a freaken seal or penguin... talking about penguins a new movie "March Of The Penguins" narrated by Morgan Freeman starts June 24,2005! it's a year in the life of emperor penguins. they travel where miles and miles into the deep artic tundra in search for romance and family... i can't wait! i have boycotted the cinema but for this i will make an exception! yep, i will wait until the movie is either on dvd or on tv... i will give a cinema $10 bucks or more for a movie... when i can wait patiently for them to come out free or a $3 dollar a pop! and if it's really good i can buy it! so there...
tony is funny, the pics of the icky guys wasn't what i was expecting but he made it all up with mr. simpson himself even though he's behind Jessica, he's still a cutie... heee... went to check out instapundit a law prof. from Tenn. who writes alot and doesn't look too bad! ooh not tomention is a band-guy! heee!!

i have been on the net all morning and i've seen so much... ok not much of the blogs which will be done by the end of the evening. mr. OHB has a his # number which he's daring anyone to call him... as his # will be changing on Friday! i thought about it... but still thinking... heee... if i called the conversation might gosomething like:
ME: hi (have always said it 1st, don't know why!)
OHB: hi
ME: so??? how's everything?
OHB: good. u?
ME: good, too... so, why did u do the # thing on ur website?
OHB: for fun, see who's the nut who'll call me first?

there u go i would be the nut!! heeee... and then a bit of dead air and nothing else to say but it was good taling to you and have a good one...

b-g wants me to make: an Indonesian dessert called Black Rice Pudding (Bubur Ketan Hitam)! still thinking on that one... need to get pandan leaves? need to google it first to see what it is... heee... been freaken googling the shou tao, chinese birthday bun, momoman, longetive peach, sou bao. why are most of the places where i found the yummies are freaken far away or in another language!!! aaaarrrgggghhh!! i know cuz we are so freaken' westernized!! it's so freaken hot i feel like i will melt... poor ms. kitty is like not moving for dear life... she's in front of the sliding doors... heee not moving at all... she looks dead but she ain't have been going to poke her once in a while to see if she's still alive, suffering the heat with me... i cannot be alone on times like this... i think i am now bla bla bla... gonna go play some games at canada.com or yahoo games... shit haven't set up the AIM dang... what's wrong with me... bloopy left me msg explaining what momoman means it goes like this:

bloopy said... unless the chinese word for "peach" is the same as the japanese word, i think a part of your problem is that while the bun may be chinese, the "momo" part of "momoman" is japanese for "peach". . .
and since those buns look a whole lot like peaches, i'm guessing that's where that part of the word came from. . . and if the "man" part is actually english so that it sorta means "peach man", it could be related to an old japanese fairy tale called "momotaro" which i guess sorta means something like "peach guy"... 4:28 AM, June 06, 2005

ooh... simple plan on the news... heee
'untitled' got it on itunes, about drinking and driving hopefully people will listen and not do it! vote for fav. Canadian group June 13 for People's Choice. would be great if i could get the recipe for A-pom it looks so appetizing... yum! very summery!

ok, i hate summer have i mention that before. such a nice poem at greg's. zhi yang left me a comment stipulating that it's singapore blogs. heee...
i want some momoman's what else can they be called? aaaahhhh!!! and google sucks, they have squat on the subject... am i not describing them properly or dothey simply don't exist. but i want to try them... b-g has never heard of them and he's Chinese but well born in Canada so that counts for being white in his book... heee... he says he's more white then he is Chinese so i guess he wouldn't know.. another dead end... aaaahhh...
OHB is so funny... he's hooked to blog explosion... but maintaining an eye on his system is a priority heee... he's such a lucky guy!!! aaarrrggghhh...

recipe for: momomans that i saw at charliebrown8989 at flickr... i got hungry for them.... i wanna learn how to make them... they look so cute... are they like mochi??? i would love the recipe for the momomans... they are so cute!!

yesterday i woke early took a shower and got ready to go get my medicare... ended up waiting for about 5 min. in total to re-new my medicare and get temp medicare to go to the doctor... the lady who was filing my data asked me if i lived with someone or not. i just looked at b-g and he responded 'yes, with me'... that got us called 'common law,' and he got told that i should be going on his insurance.... what the f$%#!!! i just looked at b-g and laughed... dang, i was a bit taken back! we waited to be called once again to take my pic... why, why, can't they use my old one... aaahhh!!! so it took less then a min. and $6 bucks later it was all done... walking out b-g went to thank the security guard for the information he had given us a week ago, to when to come because it gets freaken busy at the MALADIE place... dang!!! by the time we left 1/2 the room was full and getting fuller...

we ended up going to the general to get my throat looked at... i thought a few meds and everything will be running fine... but no, i had a freaken tube put in my nose. conlcusion JUNE 20, 2005 a MONDAY, will be my tonsil-surgery at the royal-vic, why at another hospital because the o.r. at the general is full for the summer. i tried to see if they could give me something for it but the only conclusion the doctor came to is surgery! great!!! not! i been booked i will get 3 calls to be confirmed... and all this is covered by medicare... which i am truly happy... yah!!!

now we're off to a strawberry-shortcake hunt at loblaws

summer for me sucks! i can't never enjoy it!! too freaken hot... i hate it!! i love fall and spring why can't we only have 3 seasons... aaahhhh... been blog surfing at blog explosion it's been fun!! but the heat is really killing me...

the Crazy Frog Axel F ringtone which made it to #1 on the UK charts! i can't believe that one!

dixler is a porn like site, this is my first one ever posted on my site! wow!!!

i learned that yahoo is trying to improve their email service by letting people send their digital photos in a thumbnail format so storage space and bandwith won't like go up the roof! and the images will be able to be inserted into an email by dragging them from a hard drive or website, using a small piece of user installed software. and it will be FREE!!
i watched dr.phil a few days ago and the only thing that stayed in my mind was "30-40 thousand polygamist reside in the USA... many in Colorado City!!" that is so crazy!

some sites i liked that came while browsing through blog explosion. misfits a place to that helps you get more traffic i got this one from orangehaired boy
from teammonkey i got spamshirt. steal these bottons site... it has like tons... too bad it doesn't have name buttons... i may do some but i don't like the button maker from kelsey, i prefer the one from luca zappa.

i love this one for the cutest kitty pic which reminds me of our Carly... aaahhh... i wanted to leave a msg but a 404 page came up... tristessa a very interesting read, lives in the same state as my family... she love sto drink and has a little girl... the Elmo's World post was really good... alexander josephine is a terribly interesting read and love the cup of tea/coffee which is next to the end of each post just lovely... this is just a station stop... that was my explosion surfing!! this happened a few days ago and well hadn't got around to blog. zhi yang came about through tony pierce, i am guilty of taking a look at his blog roll once in a while! as for this one no idea where it came from but what can i say lesbian erotica! i had been watching a few weeks ago the insider and ET were talking about pro-anerexia sites. i got curious and i googled it, which led me to blue dragonfly and will end on my reads. i think EX [contest] came from mr. bloopy, but i may be wrong!

this time around a Canadian chickie: Natalie Glebova born in Russia (her family move to Canada at the age of 12) the pretty 23 yrs, 5'11, blue eyes and a brunnette, motivational speaker for school age children/model, studies at Ryerson U Information Technology Management and Marketing, a classical pianist who loves summer, outdoors, sports, reading and researching healthy ways of living!

so surfing through the tube and and they were talking about sex positions from what country they come from so here are some:

Germany: missionary position
Spain: penis in the cleavage
England: s and m
France: oral
Greek: anal sex [very popular in ancient times]
Russia: full body massage and shaving the genitalia

that i got!!