Music makes me happy or sad... But it's great either way! I love it! I just need to master Japanese to understand the meaning of the songs I love... I can get the translation but I want to personally get it! Right!

I been in a thinking mode for the past few days... I want to so much to do something that is so very wrong but I am totally confused and fucked if I do... I don't want to loose everything I have worked so hard to get... I am really in a desperate situation, what to do, aaarrrgghhh. I cannot talk about this to anyone, I just can't! I have tried to analyse it myself but I am stupid and think that I am the worst person to make the decision, right... Crap!

Like the song says...

I always said that I would make mistakes,
I'm only human, and that’s my saving grace,
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,
so pull me from that pedestal,
I don't belong there.

Let's see what happens right!